Unique! Yes! Really!

When Adam/Tommy –fandom was born, it birthed a few communities; Atom_fic for fic and Teamlambliff for shipping. I smelled trouble right away when I noticed that that Teamlambliff’s main mod, Blackcolorliner, was actually Asouthernthing, who had caused major trouble in Ontd_ai. I didn’t trust her, and I didn’t like her because she had ridiculed my opinions about publishing fic. (But it’s the net, and I don’t actually know anything about her, so whatever.) Anyway, originally I decided to opt out from Teamlambliff because these reasons.

However, Teamlambliff became *the* community for fic, too, and after bumping into several fic links locked in there, I wanted in. I even stressed that they would remember me and wouldn’t let me in! But, I got accepted. I was never active there.

Later I learned that the Teamlambliff mods turned a bit paranoid on the members. Anyone talking unfavorably about the com was booted. People making fun of Tommy’s hair in Twitter got booted. People not liking the rules, according to which what was said in the com stayed in the com, but the members could still be booted based on what they said *outside* the com, got booted.

The last straw was that they made a 32 hour roll call. You had to comment on it that you complied to their rules or you would get booted. (People leaving sarcastic comments got booted, too.) I replied without thinking much about it, I was just a bit irked from the behalf of people who don’t check their communities every day.

So last night was the big boot. I wasn’t booted out, but this morning I left voluntarily. The fics are nowadays posted in other coms, too, so I’ll just save myself from the drama. Another com, Teamratbert, is now heavily pimped as the new com for the booted, but that one is modded by Alil2sarcastic, another troublemaker who I don’t trust, so. Whatever.

Could I just read my fic in peace?

(Comms and pesons not linked because I don't care about the ping bot)

I think that I will sign up to blackdress_adam, a fandom crossover challenge with reasonable deadlines and word limits. As for a fandom to slash Adam with, I'm thinking either Vorkosigan Saga or Fringe. Or James Bond, or Modesty Blaise, SGA or Johanna Sinisalo's Not Before Sundown. Anyway, all of them would require some studying first, since I seem to be able to keep the thousand little details needed on my mind only one fandom at a time.

Holy shit, Part 1: Guess who is ageing backwards nowadays?



That's Fall Out Boy's Patrick Stump. (Check his old appearance from my icon.) He has always had body issues, so I think that he is happier with his new look.

Holy shit, Part 2: Guess who!





That's Lance Bass from Nsync! Hole shit indeed. Without the last picture, I wouldn't believe that it is actually him. He looks amazing, but is that even possible without plastic surgery?

Okay, this quick little 1 300 word one-shot was written, again, for the anon meme. What is interesting with this one is that it's the first one that I posted with my own name there. I don't know if the "crickets chirping" –welcome was because of that or because people didn't care about the prompt.

Title: Freak
Author: Emmuzka
Rating: PG
Pairing: Adam/Kris, either friendship or pre-slash
Summary: He should be thankful, but it's pretty hard when all he wanted to do is to put his fist through the mirror.
Warnings: Angst. Um.. self-indulgent angst?
Notes: Originally written for aianonlovefest. The prompt was Adam's face get scarred by broken glass and how it affects him.

( Freak )

Uhhuh. It looks like LJ is now selling ad space for fake virus warning -malware ads.

What next? Porn banners to accounts that are marked "adult content"?

I visited a large flea market yesterday with sua_lay, and look what I found! I have actually been looking for something like it for a while. It's a bigeonhole drawer originally meant for newspaper printing, when the letters were typeset by hand. (It even has the original label telling the font: Gothic!) I hung it to my wall right away because if I don't do things immediately, they tend to lag - and for a long time.

In the photo the drawer looks really dirty, but it doesn't look like that in real life. I didn't really have any miniature stuff to put in, but I have a shit ton of costume jewelry, so that's what ended up there. You can also spy my lazy kitty in the second pic :)

I know this is a bit long, but bear the first minute. This will be the best commercial of 2010. Also, you will have no idea what it advertises before you'll reach the end :D

He looks like an android! Or a cruise ship performer! :D



Adam, I love you, but just, no. At least he looks, uh, happy.

On other things, I noticed that my passport will expire in five weeks. Time to get a new one! Also, the passport change kind of celebrates the fact that I changed my last name ten years ago. And now I'm feeling old.


Also, LJ is very slow today. :/

This is how I like my fan vids! A great fanvid from a currently anonymous author for the series "Profit": You don't even have to know anything about the series to get the story and feel the emotional impact.

Adam Lambert's newest video "Whataya Want From Me". Yay! The pretties over-emoting ever! (Also, I'll have to upgrade my browser since MTV videos won't play in my homy computer anymore.)

Also, sua_lay has never seen Lady GaGa's "Bad Romance" video and this situation must be fixed! Watch it! It's great! This is actually one of the directions I would want Adam going in his videos; stylished, strange and captivating eye-candy. (The other direction would be minimalist with a catch, like with Beyonce's "Single Ladies" or Sinead O'Connor's "Nothing Compares to You".)

This is a continuation of me being weird, so I give you the worst fic cliché ever: anorexia!fic. I hope that I managed to avoid the most obvious falls and squicks connected to this subject.

Title: Tender Loving Care
Author: Emmuzka
Rating: PG
Pairing: Adam/Kris
Summary: First it was all deny deny, deny, and when you finally saw that really, you weren't on a path of a healthier life choice to become a better you, you were truly sick in the head and your body was breaking down... Well, it didn't go really much easier from that point.
Warnings: Could contain triggers for people suffering from eating disorders
Disclaimer: Not true. This story is by no means meant to be a commentary or a suggestion that this fiction would be to what Adam's lifestyle would be leading.
Notes: Written for aianonlovefest. Fic title also scavenged from there. Thanks, argeneau!

( Tender Loving Care )

Yesterday, when I was cleaning, I found two sheets of handwritten fic on my night stand. When I had written them? No idea. That's what you'll get keeping paper and pen in near reach, just in case. It took me several readings to even figure out what it was about.

My 2009 in fandom
Number of fics written in 2009: 21 (Bandom 16, American Idol 6)

I have been so happy in fandom this year. I can't believe how much joy American Idol and a certain Adam Lambert have brought me. I love him, and I love the fandom. It's also pretty funny to think that people in AI fandom are much more aggressive than let's say, in Bandom. And AI is the one series typically seen as brainless fluff for kids... I have bonded with people both in RL and in LJ over Idol, and successfully turned my sis into an Adam fan.

I have also been mean in fandom this year. I have been a bit too gleeful following Aific com filling up with the type of writings the community was specifially created to avoid. At some point I had a great personal distress because I felt like AI fics were going down the shutter because of the "lol, whatever, crap is as welcomed as quality so why bother"-attitude that was taking over the fandom, making me leave admittedly mean comments to authors asking "should I continue this?" Since then, I have learnt to hold my tongue, if only for my own sanity.

And yep, it was me. I eventually ended posting the dogfic with my own name, to get it over with. On hindsight, it is pretty obvious that it was mine. Comment-vise, the fic seems to receive a Randy Travis -style of welcome, but that's okay, I have statistics.

So, 2010? Starting this month, I'm totally embracing the reality television with AI season 9 and Project Runway. I'm also hoping for a new great drama series; something as great as House and as fannish as SGA. I'm ready for the next big thing! Please don't let me down!

For real life in 2010, I have given myself a permission to *not* actively pursue new career paths, relationships or other major changes. If they'll come, they'll come. My project for 2010 is to lose 90 pounds (after some surgical help), and I think that it will be a big enough change project to fulfill a year.

Title: Best Friend
Author: Emmuzka
Pairing: Kris/?
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Angst, mental problems, bestiality
Summary: AU. One evening, there is a dog standing outside the grocery store. It doesn't have a collar or a leash, but Kris still assumes that it belongs to customer. Maybe the dog is trained to wait outside. The dog is huge and shaggy and it has strong jaws; it's not like anyone would steal it.

Notes: Yes, this is it. And again, read the warnings!

( Best Friend )

1) Yes, white Christmas is nice and all, but ENOUGH ALREADY.

2) Happy Christmas time to everyone! I will be still around in the net since I'm a crazy lady with a tendency to wake up around 5:30AM

3) Speaking of crazy... I played eBay chicken a couple of days ago and now I'm a not-so-pround owner of another LV bag. Oops? But, it was cheap! I never would have believed that no-one would bid over me! I'll call it as a christmas present for myself and call it a day.

4) Ontd_ai has added fan fiction memes back to their catalogue. Only time will tell if that's a good thing.

Title: Irresistible
Author: Emmuzka
Pairing: Adam/Kris, Adam/OMC
Rating: NC-17 for the subject matter
WARNING: Angst. Non-con. Can be very triggering.
Summary: When things go wrong, they sometimes go wrong so fast that your brain doesn't just keep up.
Author's notes: Originally published in aianonlovefest. I previously published this in a locked fic community only, but now I'm thinking, if I'm too afraid or too ashamed to publish my fic in my own journal, I might as well stop writing... Additional author's notes at the end. Some people have said that they are worth reading.

( Irresistible )

Umm. What the hell happened to mininova.org? Anyone can recommend some other torrent site? There is always The Bay but I'm not terribly fond of it.

Lady GaGa's "Beautiful Dirty Rich" translated to sign language:


How cool is that?

Also, today was the company Christmas party, and I was completely sober. Augh! Never again! Bring in the booze!

ABC hosts Chris Brown after cancelling Adam Lambert

So, ABC Network, after canceling Adam's morning show concert since they seemingly had trust issues of Adam being able to deliver a G-rated concert, will only a week later air, in the exact same spot, an interview and a performance of a convicted woman-beater? What were they smoking?

ABC made a big mistake of seeing things only from their viewpoint. As they see it, Adam can no longer be trusted to perform live because he is unpredictable. On the other hand, Brown's interview is pre-taped and therefore under their control. So no problems for them! Right?

No. What they forgot is how all this looks on the outside, what message it gives. They are supposed to be media professionals, for fuck sake! ABC gave a statement addressing the issue, saying that the Chris Brown appearance had been already booked. What a lame excuse. Adam's concert had been already booked too, but they didn't have problems canceling that. Also, as Brown's interview was pre-taped, it would have been actually easier to just move it forward a week or two.

I believe that their reason for Adam's cancellation truly was their zero-tolerance policy for uninformed live stunts. They both felt like Adam couldn't be trusted, and that they saw a some kind of punishing act to be in order to give out a message that ABC was not accepting the AMA stunt. The idea of Adam not being reliable for live shows is actually a bad thing if it spreads wider.

And ABC's final slap in the face for goodbye? As we know it, ABC actually kept the info about the cancellation for several hours from Adam and his management because Adam was giving an interview to ABC's Barbara Walters. So they kept quiet until the interview was over and only then told that hey, no concert tomorrow how about that. (At least I get a certain kind of glee from thinking the financial losses they suffered from the cancellation.)

CBS, who snatched Adam for their morning show, did a generally good job in arranging the appearance in a mere hours of time, but even they enforced the double standard. While re-capping the AMA show, they blurred the Adam/Tommy kiss but seconds later, broadcasted the Madonna/Britney kiss, giving a message that showing two females kissing is okay but showing to males kissing isn't. (one insightful article noted that woman/woman kissing is not seen bad because it's for the entertainment of straight male audience, but male/male kiss is bad because it makes the straight male audience uncomfortable, and entertains people who don't matter in the society; women and gay males.)

Again, the television station only saw it from their viewpoint and forgot the big picture. They gave out an explanation saying that Madonna/Britney kiss picture was a time tested and standard, i.e. showing that couldn't get them in trouble. However, the Adam/tommy kiss was so fresh that they couldn't take a chance of it leading to legal troubles. Yeah, they totally didn't see the big picture of how it all would look like. And again, these are supposed to be media professionals? They could have left out the Madonna/Britney pic altogether to avoid the comparison. Without comparison pic, no-one would have complained the blurring in the morning show.

But when all this is giving a heartburn to a fan, it could end up as a success. Adam's album came out on Monday. The AMA show was on Sunday night. This is the about of publicity in this week:


That amount of publicity will probably translate to sales numbers, which were originally estimated to be about 225 000 units but are now expected to rise. (To give some context: Kris Allen's CD sold 80 000 in its first week, low for an American Idol debut but almost the highest of Jive Record's 2009 albums. Susan Boyle is expected to be the year's comet with estimated 500 000-700 000 albums sold.)

And for ending this on a bright note, here is a super cute clip of Adam using a bedazzler:


Just how precious is that?

It's hilarious that after all the AMA/ABC/GMA -fuckery, I'm looking a dude in a waist-cincher and think that well, he *could* be gayer in this... But a great video! Not art or anything really ground breaking, but interesting and sexy, giving lots to look at; something that I would love to own as a high quality DVD version :D